Reflections

I find myself staring at you

I find myself wondering aimlessly from window to water

thinking that I won’t see shades of blue within ‘em

I guess what they say is true:

“Out with the old and in with the new”

I truly dislike the new you

it doesn’t feel like you,

but lately I sense you realizing that too.

You have these deep shallow notions that plague your mind,

wondering if every little thing you see is God giving you some sort of divine sign,

yet you drown yourself with countless forms of procrastination

to get that one moment where your mind will tell you its time.

You need to realize that you’re near the finish line.

Do you suffer from lust or gluttony?

Do you swerve from lane to lane like a drunk driver rushing to the final destination carelessly?

Do you stare at the bottom of a bottle and wonder if this is could be my last?

Do you drift through this ocean of life aimlessly?

I fear my new way of thought

I miss my old reflection

and

I question life

Enathi Mbanga